Dear Reader,

All I ever wanted was to suffer so I could be a great artist. My art teacher says you have to reach deep inside and paint what you feel. But I, unfortunately, feel happy. That does not make for gut-wrenching, emotional art. It makes for nice pretty, colorful art. How gross is that!

Then there was a fire at my school. Nothing too dramatic, I’m sad to say, but I was sent to stay with my grandparents for two weeks, which caused me some suffering at least. You have no idea how weird old people are, especially MY grandparents.

I found out the following: my grandma knits purses; my grandpa is addicted to Mine Sweeper; I hate peeling apples; my Uncle Chip did something crazy with a spoon because he is seriously touched; being touched runs in the family. And that’s only the half of it!

I eventually found out that suffering is not all it’s cracked up to be and if you want to know more, you will just have to read the book.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Dagmar (ugh!) Johnson